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Labor Pains

by sinai vessel

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1.
Venture 04:22
come away! oh, come away. come away with me, my love. come escape! oh, come escape. come escape with me, i know you, i've known you. so deep cries out to deep and i'm caught somewhere in between and somehow i'm closer to peace when i am further from certainty. see and taste! oh, see and taste. taste and see that i am good. come and bathe! oh, come and bathe. come and bathe in new light and color. does not wisdom cry out and understanding raise her voice? on the heights above the path she takes her stand. and above the city gates she raises voice, she cries aloud she calls out, she calls out, she calls out!
2.
Wisteria 04:04
i paid in full for a beautiful kite on a plate-- the cooked flesh so sweet, the feathers peeled aside ornate-- but what settled in my stomach was the poison contained unseen; for i slept with a fading color and awoke to a burning screen. wisteria climbs my spine and she wraps around my ribs-- never mind her full intention, ain't it gorgeous where it is? the bile calls out from her corner and makes her brazen speech and couched am i in luxury at the very end of her street. break free of this seat. what did my father say about this-- the one tiered higher than kin-- words that choke out all my groaning and sink far deeper than skin. but not the flesh that i know, either-- i'm still wringing out that curse-- 'cause God knows i'd still catch fire even stamped with that old verse. wisteria climbs my spine and she wraps around my ribs-- but i will mind her full intention, it disgusts me where it is. the bile calls out from her corner and makes her brazen speech but cut am i from luxury, out from between her teeth.
3.
i saw my name written in, deep within the well as i drank from it. (and dug within your palms) as You offered this, i felt You gaze at me. but with quickened step, my feet spoke faster than the sentence that clawed at my heels more than sentiment; i knew that You looked at me but not that intently. You sang, "listen, listen! can't you hear creation groaning? the heels of lions are moaning for movement and everything is shaking that could be shaken. and I only ask, o God! do I plead that you would abide and remain in me oh, 'cause I, I am jealous for your safety." "when I saw you, it was like walking through the street just crowds of endless grief through the walls past which I could see through the windows obsolete 'cause I saw every tear, every sigh every wasted minute by every inch of my father's design every second of life denied." "and oh, child, if I could, I'd throw myself before your tracks but I've already done that, I've already done that. so that maybe you would stop, o God! would you see... but now my blood is drying on the soles of your feet." "so come back, come back, retreat, come back..."
4.
Untitled 03:56
what a silent house i live in, what a cold night You endure, and what a mercy in the morning when i slip back through the door. 'cause when the dawn puts forth its daylight it warms the secrecy denied; our tether in the daytime to never know my leave by night. o God, what a divided home-- mothers of wood and fathers of stone-- the children pursue the wind and give birth to more of it. 'cause You peered right through that lattice and You saw our burning bed. o what a whore i've made of Grace, the child You gave when we were wed! but She extends unto the east and to the west. she spreads her limbs, and dances over creation's end. and all of this is new: all my debt and all my failure all that's paid and all that's due. all of this is new: all my accomplishment and failure all that's paid and all that's due. and You could be with anyone else. i'd make a better wife to hell itself. but You, You say the sons take the place of the curse above their heads. i sowed Your blood and reaped royalty instead.
5.
Vows 04:40
in Your fields is where You found me gathering on my knees gleaning the remains of a harvest when Your veil, it captured me. i was a harlot in your throneroom-- a deer panting by the river's side-- but now we dance here on the threshing floor, bridegroom and trembling bride. where You go, i'll go. and where You stay, i'll stay as well. where You go, i'll go. and where You stay, i'll stay too. in Your garden's where you found me, calling out on my knees. searching for my beloved, for the romance that He breathes. when you call out, "i am here! come and drink deeply from my stream-- rivers lush with intimacy, flowing over lips and teeth." i will follow, i will follow close behind. around my neck, around my chest let love and faithfulness bind. and the dust of Your feet will coat my tongue and i will sing. i'll sing, oh! i'll sing...
6.
Yet Lovely 05:23
i will wrestle with ghosts until the sun plays host in the sky. You will ask me my name, to which i will say: "deceiver." -- dark am i, yet lovely. bronzed by the merciless sun of the desert where You taught me how to listen to Your voice. the mark of bareness upon my skin-- a reminder of where we begin to fall in deeper love again. and it's here, it's here that i will sing i'll sing like the innocent, the free the beloved, the betrothed… and it's here, it's here that i will sing i'll sing like the innocent, the free the beloved, the betrothed to thee. intimacy: the act of reaching that warms the darkest parts of me. everything loved, adored and understood. the heaviness of breath, the communion, and the closeness. dark am i, yet lovely to Your eyes. You're the first and the last love i've known. You're the first and the last song i've sung.
7.
i'm charting oceans for the future, writing songs for all the waves i'll color in the coastline and you'll fill in the blanks until my ink and architecture soak through the page and my blueprints fall like anchors, drowning depth with their weight. and the veins above grow taut with the falling saints, the arteries like ropes choking on their age, and the submariner's wife has forgot his name 'cause he sunk himself away from the shores of grace. the horizon makes a fool out of my design, caught beneath the stitch between the ocean and the sky where i haven't got a single bottled note to rise where i haven't got a single flare to a spark a sign but i swear a saw a sail carrying a light a heat that comes and drains these trenches dry a rescue that would drown my own device-- and i think i see it now without the salt in my eyes. 'cause if i said that i could swim i'd be a liar. i'd be a liar, i'd be a liar, i'd be a liar… the seas rend into orchards underneath my feet the dialogue resounds and i'm playing the lead my eyes will burn and oh! my throat will bleed for i will sing the beauty of this scene because you call me perfect and i call You blind 'cause the picture and the definition don't align but Your saliva is the tie by which the pages bind and Your breath the text that lets our justice redefine. they call it a revival, but it's more like a birth when the marrow in my bones begins to mix with the earth and the water in my lungs mixes as mud with the dirt and "hallelujah!" is recorded as my first spoken word.
8.
Parturition 06:13
(Based off of "My God, I Know, I Feel Thee Mine", lyrics orig. written by Charles Wesley | Rearrangement of the verses and musical arrangement by Caleb Cordes/David Wimbish) my God, i know, i feel thee mine and will not quit my claim 'til all i have is lost in Thine, and all renewed i am. i hold thee with a trembling hand but will not let Thee go 'til steadfastly by faith i stand and all Thy goodness know. when shall i see the welcome hour that plants my God in me? spirit of health, and life, and pow'r, and perfect liberty. no longer then my heart shall mourn, while purified by Grace i only for His glory burn and always seek His face. Jesus, thine all victorious love shed in my heart abroad then shall my feet no longer rove rooted and fixed in God refining fire go through my heart, illuminate my soul-- scatter Thy life through every part and sanctify the whole. love can bow the stubborn neck, the stone to flesh convert, soften and melt, and pierce and break, an adamantine heart. love only can the conquest win the strength of sin subdue-- my own unconquerable sin and form my soul anew. Jesus, thine all victorious love shed in my heart abroad then shall my feet no longer rove rooted and fixed in God refining fire go through my heart, illuminate my soul-- scatter Thy life through every part and sanctify the whole. no longer then my heart shall mourn, while purified by Grace i only for His glory burn and always see His face. my God, i know, i feel thee mine.

credits

released October 4, 2011

Caleb Cordes wrote it, sang it, played it.
Brian Quick played drums.
David Wimbish recorded it, played tougher instruments,
and mixed and mastered it in June/April '11.

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sinai vessel Asheville, North Carolina

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