Labor Pains

by Sinai Vessel

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1.
04:22
2.
04:04
3.
4.
03:56
5.
04:40
6.
05:23
7.
8.
06:13

credits

released October 4, 2011

Caleb Cordes wrote it, sang it, played it.
Brian Quick played drums.
David Wimbish recorded it, played tougher instruments,
and mixed and mastered it in June/April '11.

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Track Name: Venture
come away! oh, come away.
come away with me, my love.
come escape! oh, come escape.
come escape with me,
i know you, i've known you.

so deep cries out to deep
and i'm caught somewhere in between
and somehow i'm closer to peace
when i am further from certainty.

see and taste! oh, see and taste.
taste and see that i am good.
come and bathe! oh, come and bathe.
come and bathe in new light
and color.

does not wisdom cry out
and understanding raise her voice?
on the heights above the path
she takes her stand.
and above the city gates
she raises voice, she cries aloud
she calls out, she calls out, she calls out!
Track Name: Wisteria
i paid in full
for a beautiful kite on a plate--
the cooked flesh so sweet,
the feathers peeled aside ornate--
but what settled in my stomach
was the poison contained unseen;
for i slept with a fading color
and awoke to a burning screen.

wisteria climbs my spine
and she wraps around my ribs--
never mind her full intention,
ain't it gorgeous where it is?
the bile calls out from her corner
and makes her brazen speech
and couched am i in luxury
at the very end of her street.

break free
of this seat.

what did my father say about this--
the one tiered higher than kin--
words that choke out all my groaning
and sink far deeper than skin.
but not the flesh that i know, either--
i'm still wringing out that curse--
'cause God knows i'd still catch fire
even stamped with that old verse.

wisteria climbs my spine
and she wraps around my ribs--
but i will mind her full intention,
it disgusts me where it is.
the bile calls out from her corner
and makes her brazen speech
but cut am i from luxury,
out from between her teeth.
Track Name: Heels of lions
i saw my name written in,
deep within the well as i drank from it.
(and dug within your palms) as You offered this,
i felt You gaze at me.
but with quickened step,
my feet spoke faster than the sentence
that clawed at my heels
more than sentiment; i knew that You looked at me
but not that intently.

You sang,
"listen, listen!
can't you hear creation groaning?
the heels of lions are moaning for movement
and everything is shaking that could be shaken.
and I only ask, o God! do I plead
that you would abide and remain in me
oh, 'cause I, I am jealous for your safety."

"when I saw you, it was like walking through the street
just crowds of endless grief
through the walls past which I could see
through the windows obsolete
'cause I saw every tear, every sigh
every wasted minute by
every inch of my father's design
every second of life denied."

"and oh, child, if I could,
I'd throw myself before your tracks
but I've already done that, I've already done that.
so that maybe you would stop, o God! would you see...
but now my blood is drying on the soles of your feet."

"so come back, come back, retreat, come back..."
Track Name: Untitled
what a silent house i live in,
what a cold night You endure,
and what a mercy in the morning
when i slip back through the door.
'cause when the dawn puts forth its daylight
it warms the secrecy denied;
our tether in the daytime
to never know my leave by night.

o God, what a divided home--
mothers of wood and fathers of stone--
the children pursue the wind
and give birth to more of it.

'cause You peered right through that lattice
and You saw our burning bed.
o what a whore i've made of Grace,
the child You gave when we were wed!

but She extends
unto the east and to the west.
she spreads her limbs,
and dances over creation's end.

and all of this is new:
all my debt and all my failure
all that's paid and all that's due.
all of this is new:
all my accomplishment and failure
all that's paid and all that's due.

and You could be with anyone else.
i'd make a better wife
to hell itself.
but You, You say
the sons take the place
of the curse above their heads.
i sowed Your blood
and reaped royalty instead.
Track Name: Vows
in Your fields is where You found me
gathering on my knees
gleaning the remains of a harvest
when Your veil, it captured me.

i was a harlot in your throneroom--
a deer panting by the river's side--
but now we dance here on the threshing floor,
bridegroom and trembling bride.

where You go, i'll go.
and where You stay, i'll stay as well.
where You go, i'll go.
and where You stay, i'll stay too.

in Your garden's where you found me,
calling out on my knees.
searching for my beloved,
for the romance that He breathes.

when you call out, "i am here!
come and drink deeply from my stream--
rivers lush with intimacy,
flowing over lips and teeth."

i will follow, i will follow close behind.
around my neck, around my chest
let love and faithfulness bind.
and the dust of Your feet
will coat my tongue and i will sing.
i'll sing, oh! i'll sing...
Track Name: Yet Lovely
i will wrestle with ghosts
until the sun plays host in the sky.
You will ask me my name,
to which i will say: "deceiver."

--

dark am i, yet lovely.
bronzed by the merciless sun of the desert
where You taught me how to listen
to Your voice.
the mark of bareness upon my skin--
a reminder of where we begin
to fall in deeper love again.

and it's here, it's here that i will sing
i'll sing like the innocent, the free
the beloved, the betrothed…
and it's here, it's here that i will sing
i'll sing like the innocent, the free
the beloved, the betrothed to thee.

intimacy:
the act of reaching that warms
the darkest parts of me.
everything loved, adored and understood.
the heaviness of breath, the communion,
and the closeness.
dark am i,
yet lovely to Your eyes.

You're the first and the last love i've known.
You're the first and the last song i've sung.
Track Name: The Submariner
i'm charting oceans for the future,
writing songs for all the waves
i'll color in the coastline
and you'll fill in the blanks
until my ink and architecture soak through the page
and my blueprints fall like anchors,
drowning depth with their weight.
and the veins above grow taut
with the falling saints,
the arteries like ropes choking on their age,
and the submariner's wife has forgot his name
'cause he sunk himself away from the shores of grace.

the horizon makes a fool out of my design,
caught beneath the stitch between the ocean and the sky
where i haven't got
a single bottled note to rise
where i haven't got
a single flare to a spark a sign
but i swear a saw a sail
carrying a light
a heat that comes
and drains these trenches dry
a rescue that would drown my own device--
and i think i see it now without the salt in my eyes.

'cause if i said that i could swim i'd be a liar.
i'd be a liar, i'd be a liar, i'd be a liar…

the seas rend into orchards underneath my feet
the dialogue resounds and i'm playing the lead
my eyes will burn and oh! my throat will bleed
for i will sing the beauty of this scene
because you call me perfect and i call You blind
'cause the picture and the definition don't align
but Your saliva is the tie by which the pages bind
and Your breath the text that lets our justice redefine.

they call it a revival,
but it's more like a birth
when the marrow in my bones
begins to mix with the earth
and the water in my lungs
mixes as mud with the dirt
and "hallelujah!" is recorded
as my first spoken word.
Track Name: Parturition
(Based off of "My God, I Know, I Feel Thee Mine", lyrics orig. written by Charles Wesley | Rearrangement of the verses and musical arrangement by Caleb Cordes/David Wimbish)

my God, i know, i feel thee mine
and will not quit my claim
'til all i have is lost in Thine,
and all renewed i am.

i hold thee with a trembling hand
but will not let Thee go
'til steadfastly by faith i stand
and all Thy goodness know.

when shall i see the welcome hour
that plants my God in me?
spirit of health, and life, and pow'r,
and perfect liberty.

no longer then my heart shall mourn,
while purified by Grace
i only for His glory burn
and always seek His face.

Jesus, thine all victorious love
shed in my heart abroad
then shall my feet no longer rove
rooted and fixed in God
refining fire go through my heart,
illuminate my soul--
scatter Thy life through every part
and sanctify the whole.

love can bow the stubborn neck,
the stone to flesh convert,
soften and melt, and pierce and break,
an adamantine heart.

love only can the conquest win
the strength of sin subdue--
my own unconquerable sin
and form my soul anew.

Jesus, thine all victorious love
shed in my heart abroad
then shall my feet no longer rove
rooted and fixed in God
refining fire go through my heart,
illuminate my soul--
scatter Thy life through every part
and sanctify the whole.

no longer then my heart shall mourn,
while purified by Grace
i only for His glory burn
and always see His face.

my God, i know, i feel thee mine.